Still stuck here. :(

It's almost Christmas and in a few hours we will be having our family Noche Buena at home and here I am still stuck in our pad in Cebu. I was supposed to go home yesterday, supercat at 4:40 pm but I was not able to catch up. Apparently, it left on time and it was my fault because I had my last-minute shopping for gifts and pasalubong plus the traffic which was very much expected this time of the year, and so when I arrived in Pier 4, the guard refused to let me in and declared the vessel was already for boarding. I had no choice but to go to the ticketing area hoping that I could still reschedule for today but obviously all trips today were fullybooked already few days ago. Weesam was also fullybooked as well as all other vessels including those destined for other towns in Leyte. I was desperate. I could not imagine spending my Christmas away from my family, and alone in my pad. No way. So I went to SM, left my luggage in Traveler's Lounge. I had to make sure, so I searched for a ticketing agency for planes. When I arrived in Skyliner, I was informed that the one and only flight for Tacloban today was fullybooked too. I was hopeless but I kept praying and waited for my priority number. Thankfully, before my number was called, I was informed again that there are still available tickets for Cebu Pacific Flight for Tacloban today at 3:10PM. Whew! Then I was thinking of the vhire afterwards, if there will still be trips from Tacloban to Ormoc upon my arrival. That would be around 4:00pm already. I have to endure around 2 hours or more to reach home. Oh God be with me. I really need to be home. Crossing fingers for now. :)

Quarter Life Crisis

The holidays is fast approaching and here I am still unable to sleep and speechless of everything that has happened since the start of the year. Listening to a classic song, The Best of Me by David Foster, not that I can totally relate to the song, I am really pondering to the deepest sense I am capable of, nonetheless I cannot fathom God's plan for me and for the rest of the years to come.

Yesterday, I went to TTSP to claim my certificate of employment and some other important things when I realized upon reaching Balamban that indeed, I was not remorseful with my decision to leave my previous job. Every memory I thought I may have forgotten went back, how I weighed things up, how I viewed every possibility and it all ended to simply quitting my job because I need to further explore myself in relation to my chosen profession and passion as well. Though a lot of factors I have also considered during those times of dilemma, I guess those will remain undisclosed due to its sensitivity. When I reached the Industrial Park, I was somehow reminded why I held on to my job for almost a couple of years, and yes it mattered. It mattered so much that I know my stay there was irrevocably memorable. I don't find it hard to admit that I missed my friends, my cubicle, my jogging place, my former room, my environment around CIPDI, my previous paradigm, but I don't find it hard to admit either that back then when I handed my letter of resignation, I was extremely excited to get out and leave so that I can finally trail another road. Yesterday I realized that there are things I have to let go, no matter how painful it would be, that I have to cherish life today because these are just mere consequences of the decisions I have made before, that my friends that were part in molding my life before will still have a part in me today but a lot more different than that of the days I spent in Balamban. Change, always constant, I know. I just miss them. Our bond, our silly times, everything. It was a pack I will forever cherish. Three quarters of my 2011 were spent with them, and my birthday last March was one of the best! I have found real good friends in such an unusual pack.

I am not remorseful with my current job either. I am even happy and fulfilled I am finally pacing the road I wanted to walk on. I have been passionately exerting my best effort to learn and as well as enjoy what I have been doing. I can feel the sense of fulfillment in every project I'd finished and it's totally overwhelming to see my work in the computer monitor. My Master's Degree started with twists and turns with all the time constrictions and countless tasks in the office and in school. Just like those times in TTSP when I would ask myself if I am still doing the right thing, I would still ask myself the exact question now, but then my answer before totally differs from my answer now. All I know was that everything before was uncertain which is very much unlikely to my situation now wherein I would just relax and tell myself that whatever struggles I am undergoing now, will result to a better tomorrow, that someday, I know, I will have something to harvest worthy of my struggles now. Should I continue doing this? Of course. There is no point returning, only another left turn or right perhaps. 

I am looking forward to another turn next year. Still uncertain for a lot of things but then I would simply look up to the heavens and lift up to Him everything. He gave this to me, I have no doubt about that. It will still be the same learning but a little further and I know I have to allow growth a lot faster now. I can't believe how this year created a maze in me. I am thankful to the Lord for everything. I have no idea how and why He has given all these to me now, and I don't even know if I will ever found out the answers to my countless questions, I just have to trust Him more fully. I have gone this far because of Him, and I don't think I can go a lot more farther without Him. Saving the best for next year, excited, crossing fingers, keeping my feet on the ground. Everything will be just fine.

Bitter much, spare me.

From the overused idiomatic expression, I have been thinking if the recent turn out of events can be well considered as a perfect example of the subject. A supposedly healthy competition which I think resulted to a bitter one. 

 

We all know that life is a race and from time to time, we encounter competitions from the small ones like parking spaces to a rather huge and delicate stuff. Job vacancies, for example. A friend of mine recently told me about a newly opened US-based firm here in our locality. As opportunity-driven and go-getter as I am, I immediately applied through e-mail, and apparently, got accepted. 

But then the story was not as easy as it seemed. My two colleagues applied too. Unfortunately, one copied my resume format, with all the font type, font size, margins, arrangement of details and even the indention. I could have been furious. It was plagiarism. That resume was supposedly my trademark. I have had that format ever since I learned how to creatively advertise myself way back in my English class in college. But I thought may be I could let it pass, after all, he swore he would submit another entry with another format. He did actually.

We were all interviewed on the same day but with different time slot. The colleague who copied my resume was interviewed first, before my time slot, then the last one was our other colleague. I almost thought I wouldn't make it, I was almost late, and I did not prepare any answer to the possible questions. I admit I had a set of possible questions studied beforehand, given actually by the same colleague, but every time I'd think for a perfect answer, I could not come up with any, so I decided to go with the flow and just be myself. I think I have handled it well, apparently, my application was a success, I received an email about a possible position while my two other colleagues did not receive any. It was supposedly not a big deal, or so I thought.

Things went worse when I would hear bitter comments like, I got accepted because I'm a woman and the interviewees were men, stuff like those which involves how I dressed up, in other words, he noted a lame reason for my acceptance. I would not have made a big fuss out of such negative feedbacks, but then, he was too coward, and too bitter to have ranted it over to someone who maliciously spread those small stuff which eventually reach my ears. The worst thing is, he even made a lot more stories which are beyond what I expected from a professional like him. 


I guess other details should remain undisclosed as I still prefer to leave a mark of moral values in his personality.

Yes, I got accepted, but no, I won't be explaining how and why I think I got the slot, that would be the sole job of the interviewees who, I guess, found a potential in me. I would not say I am smart, because I believe that the moment I consider myself brilliant, that would be the moment I'd have to be dull. All I want to emphasize is that, losing entails an act of humility. When you lose, you are supposed to acknowledge your weakness, and not point-out the flaws or even the strength of others which you think caused your defeat. It is all about you, no one else but you, not me and neither the judges. In a running race, for example, when you place second, you don't blame the first one to have defeated you because he runs faster, you have to blame yourself because you ran slower than he did. It's always a matter of perceptions and viewpoints.

I managed to let go of his plagiarism with my resume, even this, I know I ought to forgive. It's Christmas, and instead of counting all the bad experiences, I should remember all the blessings received and the coming ones. But trust will never be restored. I have finally uncovered his concealed identity. It's not always right to hate people, but I am making sure I am not hating him, I just don't care removing him from my so-called trusted friends.

My Honduran Curly Hair

I have been fascinated with my Honduran Curly Hair (Brachypelma albopilosum) for more than a year now. It has been with me since October 18, 2011, it was still an inch big then. It was a gift actually and I never thought I'd be more than delighted having such mini pet. During my start, I had no idea how to really take care of this sensitive creature, but google's always ready to answer my countless q's. Today, my tee (as what I always prefer to call my little angel) is more than 4 inches big. It's kept inside a terrarium about 8 inches cube and provided with a mini pool for her hydration. By the way, she's a she and I'm glad about it because in their world, the females are always dominant than the males. The females are most of the time, larger and more vibrant in colors than the males. :)


Anyway, my tee is a terrestrial type, thus it's more than a crawler than a climber and needs a larger enclosure compared to other types. What I love most in her is her calmness and her ability to adapt with people. She seems friendly as she almost always allow people to hold her and even crawl on their arms. I have tried allowing her to crawl in my arms once but her huge physique was somehow not tolerable in my small arms. Based on what I have read from care sheets available in search engines, this specie has lower toxins and are less dangerous. I haven't heard anyone killed with its bites, and so far, with all my previous officemates so anxious to hold her, no one was bitten.

This was her in her enclosure, first few months

My tee is my first ever pet aside from our family dog. I consider her my diversion but not much of a passion. When I was still in TTSP, she was kept hidden inside a wooden compartment. I would provide her with feeders roaches a.k.a. lateralis, about half the size of her body, almost twice a day depending on the availability. I am always thrilled seeing her grab her food just like any other predator. 

For more than a year, here's actually what I have learned about her:

1. She has the cutest defense mechanism. She has this manner of raising up either of her two hind legs to rub it on her butt and secrete a powdery stuff which I think I am very allergic of because I will be itching and scratching my neck and arms after that. This happens always when I would try to play with her by poking her back. hahaha.
2. She knows when she's free or not and she knows how to resist captivity when freed. Just like any other creature, she's brilliant enough to find an escape and in fact, she once got out from her enclosure and I was really having a hard time of putting her back in it. She was also freed once and was made to crawl on a broad paved area of our covered court in TTSP. When it was her time to go back to her enclosure, she would simply resist crawling into my friend's hand because she knew she would be again my captive. 
3. I would know if she is about to molt because aside from her decreased appetite, she would dig up a burrow and hid herself there. After a few days, tsadah! her molted skins! 
4. She's not the perfect climber. She's been trying to climb the glass walls in her enclosure and I would just giggle watching her slide every now and then. There was one time she got out of her old enclosure hidden in my drawer, she was awfully crawling on one of the my wooden table's stand. She was really trying hard to land safely and I was preparing myself for her fall just in case. Thankfully, she made it to the floor safe and into her enclosure. whew!
5. Her breed is for beginners but just like other tarantulas, it's always better to be very extra careful handling them because once they are dropped, and their abdomen is cracked, they are considered dead.

For now, my Honduran Curly Hair consumes 3 adult roaches per meal. She eats almost once a day or once in every two days with her pool of water always filled. Though many spider lings of her breed are available these days, I still look forward to mate her and see another sets of her breed someday. By the way, I had a Singapore Blue (Lampropelma violaceopes) once, but unfortunately, it died when it was still a month old, still very tiny I can't tell her gender yet.

It was supposed to look like this when it matures but then the happenings were so sudden, I guess it was due to lack of moisture or perhaps the room's too cold (air-conditioned), I had no idea. Anyway, I think I am not ready for more aggressive breeds yet, may be someday.