Moving on, one step forward

I was crossing my fingers as I felt nostalgia upon entering the gates of my old alma mater. It was familiar still despite of the changes that took place in just a couple of years. The process was not as easy as I expected. But accomplishing all the requirements as I went back from work to school vice versa taught me one thing - in order to remain grounded, I have to experience difficulties; my struggles today reminded me that I am a normal being, that I do have to cross those mountains in order for me to feel the ground with every climb I make.


Today could be the start of another journey, the main reason why I left my former job, to pursue postgraduate studies. And the song embedded above deeply portrays the euphoric sensation I am in right now for finally having enrolled in three subjects under Master's of Engineering in Civil Engineering, specializing in Structural and Geotechnical Engineering. I know it will be a tough challenge.


So here's the lyrics which gave more meaning to my unexpected but well-thought out decision, with which I was able to finally cross over from my dreamland to reality: 

He will paint the light and shades
The colours and the trees
He will climb the steepest hill
Believing what he sees
He will lay down on the ground
Beneath the old oak tree
He will sleep forever
If you try to set him free

Sail on the wings of a cloud
Where to, well nobody knows
And cry, cry if you want them to see
Die every day to be free
Be proud to wear the colours that you call your own
Be loud, speak out when you want the world to know
Be strong, hold the flame for everyone to see
Be weak, if you want to love.

He will paint the endless sea.
A mystery to me
He will reach out for the sun,
Not dreaming what he sees
He will fall down on his knees
Angel touching ground
Takes him to the other side
Sweet love is coming down.

The song rather depicts the great risk of learning to explore the world, to discover what is yet to be discovered and search for the most important piece in the puzzle of life. Of course it will take detours, and we have to stumble from time to time, understand that nothing is easy, and learn to accept the circumstances of our decisions.

For my recent cross over, these things has been noted:

1. Intuition plays an important role in decision making. We have to trust our instinct and believe that it's one of the most mysterious thing in our existence. When I decided to finally let go of my comfort zone in TTSP, I knew then it was the right time. Indeed, the transition was smooth.
2. God's providence never fails anyone. Just as long as the time is right and we feel that we deserve what we are asking, He will answer in an unexpected and bulk blessings. He guides our intuition all the time, and He will always be the sole reason why I would depend on my instinct in times of dire need.
3. I know who my real friends are and happy to note that they are actually gems worth keeping. I know the fakes and I know the competitors, the bitter and those with hidden agenda as well, in all sorts of factors. Nevertheless, I credit them for making a worthwhile environment.
4. Decisions should never be made when we are at the peak of our emotion. EVER. Many times, during one of our team meeting in the office, I was tempted to open up and just say I want to quit but then I held my thoughts to allow chances to myself and to the concerned individuals as well. As it turned out, the right time came few more months later.
5. and lastly, as always, there is no perfect place, no perfect job, no perfect group of people. It's a matter of choosing which would you allow to tear you into pieces that's most acceptable. There has to be something to give up and let go and accept new things, eventually learn to love them as they are. and of course, we have to do what we long to do and stay afloat in the sail of life.

I am way far from the real thing. I have yet to discover a lot of things for my half-filled cup. I have asked myself before, would these things matter in the many years to come? of course, that's why I am virtually pouring out all these, that in time, I will have to laugh reading these posts. :)

Keeping the memories alive

From my batch, my friends, and a few who have been oh so dear to me. Super lucky to have them. The warm goodbyes were very overwhelming.

So to save the memories, I have here written, their messages from my uniform during my last day in TTSP. 

The uniform I was using wednesday.

unwashed. :) 

Aisa, Goodluck to your chosen path. We know that para na sa imong kaayuhan. Treasure the moments sa mga pinagsamahan. And Hopefully keep in touch gihapon namu. God bless you always. 

-BEAU

Dear Isamarch,

Kini nga message akong gisuwat tungod kay naa ko pentelpen. ^_^. Good luck lang ah. TC always, God bless you.

"HAPAK"

"GRRRR"

"BWAHAHA"

Dili na mi kita ani sa email. ^_^

Your batchmate,

-MIKEZ

Aiz, 

Kung saan ka masaya, te, suportaan ta ka.... Cge bye!!! Apas lang ko...

-CONDZ RADZ

Aiz!

Thanks sa tanan! Di nalang ko enumerate kay pangitaon! hehe, bitaw thanks! Thanks au sa friendship nga nisamot pag-abot nato :) God bless Aiz in your new adventure. We are so happy for you. I wish makamit nimu tanan desire sa imo heart. Yngatz always! See you sa city. Kuha gihapon ko obagi ha!! hehehe. I'm gonna miss you Aiz! Anad2x guro ni para sa future larga! :)

-TINY

Sayonara my manita.

-RENREN

Ais,


mamis nako imo sumbag ug hapak. hehe. bitaw take care always and God bless sa imung new career.

-RHENZ

 Ais,

ala na mi kabatch na maldita...yehey!!! bitaw, ayo2x ug amping kanunay...

P.S. ayaw kalimot hatag sa SF.

-PAULA 

Babes,

I never knew I could miss a person this much. But that's what I felt by just the thought of you leaving. =( But seeing you happy is more important. May the Lord fulfill the desires of your heart. Stay bubbly and Sexy and beautiful and . . . .  =)

:You will always remain in here --->  <3

XOXO,

-BRAD CHECHE

Hi Ais!!!

Good luck and God bless sa imo new journey. May you find happiness and contentment in your career. Take care of yourself always. =)

-THEA

Aisa,

Treat your TTSP XP as a humble beginning (Bisag layo ra sa imo field) and your friendship with us a once in a lifetime and forever worth reminiscing memory...Good luck and God bless sa imo new found career. Stay healthy! 

-JAC

Ais,

Thank you so much for everything, your life is a blessing to us. I will miss you ais. Love you. Sharing to you. Jer.29:22 God bless!

-ANN

Hello Ais...

Salamat sa friendship amping lang pirmi. God bless you...Sul-uba ni inig laag nimo sa SM.. Hehe

-ANDREW

Gaw =)

Happy sail-out! Enjoy life and God bless..

-ABZ

Hello Gamay,

Actions bound by our decision. Always have faith and enjoy the thrill of life. God bless...

Till we meet next time =)

-KUYA SONJ  (with tarantula drawings aweeee)

Hello Aiz,

May you completely find the desires of your heart. God bless you always.

-ARCS

Aiz,

Bye... BIsan di na ta magkita, you will always remain in my huna2x... =)

God bless!

-MARC

Isamarch,

God bless sa new career. Thanks sa friendship, for all the chikas and kilig2x.. hehe.. we will miss you

-KIM

Sa bawat hakbang mo palayo sa lugar na to, iyong gunitain at sariwain and mga sandaling pinagsamahan ng ating pangkat. Samahan na pinagtibay ng kapatiran. Wag mong kalimutan itong munting kaibigan na pinalaki ang puso ng iyong presensya.

Ang iyong munting anghel,

-TATA SANTINO A.K.A. HARVEY

In life there are people that would pass us by, leave us and make us cry. But, keep this message close to your heart. We cry because we love the person that have embarked... See you soon!

Angel # 8,

-JAEL

 Ais!!!

Since dili na man jud mapugngan, hala go!.. hehe.. Just want you to know that you've been a good friend to me. Wish you all the luck and God bless. Ü

-ANINAX

As I copied all these messages, my heart was filled with awe, with how blessed I am, surrounded with people like them. Yes, I am keeping in touch through fb, emails, yes, I still have your birthday gifts, and I will always cherish our bondings, our moments. Guys, thank you for everything! By the way, first time in history na siguro ni nga medyo taas2 ang message ni rodell contrary to what has always been his trademark of one-liner greetings. :)

I will be seeing you very soon! :)

For the benefit of my poor memory

My farewell drama to the pack who taught me how to love a paradigm of diversified individuals, who challenged me to do better everyday and who opened up another dimension of possibilities, dreams and realities. With much love and sincerity, this article has been composed days before my farewell to them and eventually was done few hours before I made my final adieu.

My Journey, My Struggles, My Choices: No Holds Barred

The Starting Point

I entered the review center room with confidence that I will make it. Not the board exam but the preliminary examination for Tsuneishi Technical Services Philippines Inc. I answered all the questions with intense feeling of fulfillment. I was relaxed. That was August 2009. Who would have thought that I would seriously give myself a chance to work here? Nevertheless, I went miles as I undergo all the tedious procedures just to be chosen among the hundreds of candidates, mostly reviewees like me aiming for the best spot. I felt the star danced with me as I read the text message confirming my acceptance. I knew then, it was the start of my journey to the real world.

The Road Less Traveled


Thought sank in just a few days after my first day – the road I have chosen to explore was way different from what I have expected. I was crying almost every night because I was desperate to quit. But I was too weak to do it. Along with the daily undertakings I went through, I have managed to face the consequences of my choice calmly. I knew God was part of it. He gave me what I have asked and prayed for. I looked at every positive thing to consider and I stayed here. I gave myself a chance to get to know my work better and accepted the challenge of learning the Mould Lofting job. It was not an easy task. The terminologies were cracking up my nerves. The different orientations of numerous plans and drawings covering up my table were messing my entire cubicle the way it seemingly messed up my whole emotional balance. I would write in my journal pouring out all my frustrations in myself, my choices and my decisions. I would talk to my parents and enumerate all the experiences I had dealing with my work, the people around and the environment; and they would always encourage me to continue and cope up because I was born a fighter. I did. I managed to stay firm in this battlefield. For a year and almost 9 months, I knew I have enjoyed. My stay was a lot more worthwhile than anyone can credit.

The Dilemma and the Choice


Almost exactly a year ago, I wrote my Resignation Letter for a sole reason – I want to pursue post graduate studies. But I was not able to print it out because I was, again, too weak to quit. Struggling positively, I waited for the right time, always telling myself that I will never stay here for too long. Just a few weeks ago, I was on my normal daily routine when suddenly, after staring blankly into my monitor, I came to a realization – I am no longer happy dealing with NC pieces. I am longing for buildings, houses and other infrastructures. But still, I was faced with a dilemma – two roads diverged with an insurmountable boundary. One, to pursue my post graduate studies and practice structural/civil engineering and two, to continue what I have started here and increase my skill level by learning the different softwares globally used. I applied for several firms, all related with ship designs except for one – a structural firm owned by a former instructor. Fate was playful, because I was left to choose between another well-known Ship Design Firm in Cebu City and a Structural Firm. I decided – this is my chance to pursue what I have long been missing, so I grabbed the opportunity as I got accepted in the Structural Firm, turning down one of the best Ship Design Firm in Asia. That was September 10, 2011 – one of the most fulfilling days I had. I cancelled my filed undertime for Monday (September 12, 2011) because I was looking forward to finally printing my long-time saved Resignation Letter.

The Transition: My Thoughts to Actions


First thing’s first. Immediately after the bell rang, Monday (September 12, 2011), I printed out my official letter of farewell, and handed it to my Supervisor with a smile. Right then, when the words silently came out of my mouth, I knew he was not expecting it. He was smiling as well. We had a sort of formal interview and I honestly answered all his questions, mostly why’s. The news spread like magic just as the cliché goes, news has wings. I knew a lot were wondering, and perhaps assuming a lot of things. I, myself, was not expecting I would be resigning this soon. But I knew I have to. That feeling of excitement towards something you have been planning to do and yet it took you so many months to finally accomplish it. I saw my colleagues’ smiles along with their never-ending questions of why’s. Yes, it made me feel at ease when someone would just say, “You did the right thing!” because despite of the very fact that they don’t know what I am undergoing, they still managed to share some positive viewpoints which made me a lot more inspired to continue what I have just started.

Reasons Behind


Career and Studies – my priority as of the moment; oftentimes I am asked where would I go, will I join the famous newly established in Cebu but US based Fluor Daniel? Will I be in the very well known Keppel Singmarine? Will I go immediately to what they consider as the greener pasture Singapore? Neither. I am merely following my heart’s desire to finally enjoy and reap the fruits of my five-year hard-earned piece of parchment a.k.a. diploma and eventually, under God’s grace, learn more on how to further enhance His blessings. In fact, I won’t be enjoying a higher compensation but I will be indulging myself on a stressful paradigm which badly needs my time management more than I need it here. It is a great risk indeed. I will be getting out from my own comfort zone as I will have to race with a vast and widely established world outside, a lot different than what I have enjoyed here. I have fears and as far as my emotional health is concerned, I am still coping with such. I am simply hoping that with God’s help, everything will turn out just fine.

This is It!
I will be missing a lot of things here, a lot of people. My batch mates who eventually turned out to be my friends and confidante in all sorts of fun, giggles and sweet nothings, be it in the mail or during our bonding anywhere here. I will surely miss our kulitan, suntukan, hiyawan, kantsawan and every little thing we did. I will miss our dinner together in GY, Videoke, the breath-taking breeze in Toledo Baywalk which turned out to be one freaking experience with them, the batchoy moments during our first few months here, the birthday parties, the cakes and the surprises, the anniversary celebrations and most of all, the friendship I had with them. I will miss my teammates, my Onboard Mag family. I will miss writing articles. I will miss organizing dinners, get-togethers, valentine’s group dates, and outings. I will miss my room, my usual jogging. I will miss everything. My stay here taught me a lot of things. Life is an adventure, a race. I simply want to explore and find my happiness where I can race properly. I have no idea if I will make it to the finish line victorious, but one thing’s for sure, God is always there ready to embrace in whatever struggles I will be facing. With all the life’s principles and definitions, I would rather say that our existence matters not on what we have but how we feel. I am considering my TTSP experience, a detour, but a fruitful and adventurous one.

So long friends! God Bless! Ciao! XOXO

That was it. I think I was able to express my thoughts. Though my initial plan was to include some not-so-good observations but then, during the process of composing this, the angelic side of me prevailed. After sending my farewell speech to my selected colleagues, I received remarks such as: 

1. Ais, di pa diay  mi pwede muresign kay di pa mn mi kamao mubuhat ani.

2. Ais, quit engineering, pursue journalism. (toink, I know I'm not as gifted as Maria Ressa. hihi, oh well, we're engineers.. haha kidding, half meant :p)

heart-warming indeed and so, I can't just let time erase these mem'ries, and here I am blogging again for the very nth time. 

I was actually searching for my old blogs when I realized that most of them I have  already deactivated  when I was on my job hunting mode way back a couple of years ago since I was planning not to leave a trace of my immature side in cyberspace in case my prospective employer would just google my name. I even tried googling my name then, I still do it now, to check if there are links that would lead my  identity to any malicious and indecent cyber articles and the likes. But anyway, I still have my wordpress though and my old blogger which is filled with Daily Scriptures which is way back 2008, not so updated. I remember I made another blog a few months ago, I was still in TTSP that time and I wanted to pour out my observations but then I had to change my mind so instead of ranting, I only had a starter article and I think it was never followed with another post. I just couldn't remember the domain and even the add. tsk, an epic fail of me. But anyway, I only used it once, I might have deactivated it after all. I wanted to create another blog from my wordpress account but then something's always wrong. I might as well extend my patience and bear with my ojt experience blog and my blogthings collection in the mean time. Hopefully, this will be my constant abode here in the blogger world.